Well as promised here we go. This post is simply made to help share our story and bring some awareness.
Perhaps, I should begin this by saying, at the age of 16 I was "diagnosed" polycystic ovary syndrome. I was then placed on birth control for the purpose of helping to regulate my cycles. At this time, no tests were run, the diagnosis was simply based on my own information I provided. I was on birth control until 3 months prior to our wedding. We had a lengthy discussion with my doctor about the risks, the likelihood of us getting pregnant etc. She also was going based on my previous diagnosis from my original doctor. Based on this information, she looked at us and said
"It will take you no less then 6 months to get pregnant, you should expect it to possibly take more then a year."
Needless to say, Grayson was a surprise baby in every sense of the word. We were told a year. It took us less then 3 months.
Fast forward to November 2013. Yes, the same November where the questions started flying. Wally and I decided prior to our Thanksgiving visit, that we would start trying. I once again came off of birth control, we knew it still might take us a few months, but after Grayson, we assumed 3-6 months. Suddenly, it's April 2014. We are sitting in an office, with a kind friendly doctor who is giving us all the information we need for our newly diagnosed son. Something I'm pretty sure you are all familiar with at this point. We still weren't pregnant, and frankly, we stopped trying.
(Disclaimer: I will be as informative as I can be without over sharing, however some details may make some people, males especially uncomfortable. I understand if you wish to stop reading here.)
At this point in April, we were at 6 months. I had only had 3 cycles at most. While my cycles were lasting 60 plus days at some points, shockingly this was the shortest they had ever been. During a visit to my doctor, we again had a lengthy discussion. She mentioned us doing some blood work to see what information we could confirm from it. She also suggested that perhaps we attempt going back on birth control for another few months in the hopes that it would provide my body the jump start it needed.
We were fresh off a diagnosis of Autism for our son, I had a job interview at my now current job that while it went fantastic, I ended up crying through half of it sharing the tale of his diagnosis. I knew then it wasn't the time for us. So we took a few months off. I received a call a few days later from my doctor. She stated that while my blood work all came back clear, there was a problem. Turns out, none of my blood work confirmed the PCOS (polycystic ovary) that I had been diagnosed with all those years ago. All of my blood work in fact simply confirmed that I was a completely healthy, totally normal functioning 30 year old. We should be able to get pregnant without a problem once we were off the birth control.
I stayed on the birth control for 2 months. We made a decision for me to come back off of it again in July. I can't possibly tell you how many times I have taken an at home pregnancy test, because I still had an irregular cycle (40+ days). At one point, I got to experience the joys of what I now know is called a false positive. YES these do happen. You take a test, it gives you 2 lines, you dance around your living room. You get a blood test, you have an evil nurse on the phone tell you SORRY you're not pregnant crazy girl, try again. You take another test at home and you get one line.
We continued this cycle through October of 2014. One of the things they don't tell you is, no one will help you before you hit the 1 year mark. Especially if you have already conceived one child of your own naturally. You are forced to find your own way. I was determined to not spend my mornings taking ovulation tests, acting like crazy women do in all the movies, demanding my husband get home because my temps are "perfect for baby making." (I promise you will see the irony in this later). The 3rd week of October, something wasn't right. I ran upstairs from our basement took a look at Wally and instantly ran to the bathroom to throw up. This happened a few times randomly. I was actually following a solid (though longer) pattern and come to find out was a week late. I took a test, negative. Yet, everything I knew about myself told me I was pregnant.
I should mention, I didn't test positive with Grayson until I was 7 weeks along. I also am one of those lucky girls that just doesn't produce HCG (the hormone pregnancy tests look for) for at home test to pick it up right away. I planned on waiting another week, testing again and seeing how it went. I made it 4 more days. I then experienced the worst cramping pains I had ever gone through (I am not a cramping kind of person). I contacted the dr, she confirmed I had a miscarriage. I was at most 6 weeks and up until now I believe 2 people are even aware of it. While I was devastated at first, it gave me the push I and the doctor needed. She referred me that day to a fertility specialist.
Let me just say, we have a wonderful woman who is our fertility doctor. She has been through it all with us. We have had a battery of tests run (yes both Wally and I). There has been blood work, ultrasounds, a very long scary named x-ray procedure (which was actually really cool) as well as a few others. This process took over 3 months. Finally on January of this year, we sat down and we go over all of my results. She looks me dead in the eyes and says
"You have what we call unexplained secondary infertility"
Yup, you read that right. Unexplained. It means that they have no more of a clue then we do of why we are currently able to have another baby. Wally's tests are good, my tests are good and yet....No baby. She started listing off these options that we have, things like IUI, IVF and other handy little acronyms are suddenly thrown at me and none of them are involving my husband and I, just being my husband and I. I let her finish her whole explanation and say
"Can you just give us a pill to help?"
I know, that sounds ridiculous. But honestly, everything I had read never mentioned me jumping into a step that didn't involve us trying a fertility medication first. I wanted us to have more time to try. I wanted us to have another chance without 4 doctors, a nurse, 3 receptionists and 13 lab guys all involved. She understood (again she's wonderful). She placed me on Femara (Letrozole) told me to take it days 2-6 and to partner it up with ovulation tests(see I told you). We started our first Femara treatment the next day (it just happened that my visit with her synced up perfectly with my cycle). But I didn't just take Femara, I added a Basel thermometer, I started tracking every symptom. I took ovulation tests every morning from day 9 through day 18. I wake up every morning (EVERY) at 5:30 and without even opening my eyes stick a thermometer in my mouth. I have gotten so good at this, that the beeping of the thermometer being done is what wakes me back up to put it down.
We did everything right. We timed everything perfectly. We are still not pregnant.
But, I had a 30 day cycle for the first day of my life. I see that as a huge achievement.
We are on our 2nd round of femara. I'm about to start the process of what is known in the TTC (trying to conceive) world as the two week wait. It's basically a mind numbing process in which you can not find out your pregnant for 2 weeks, because it takes your body that long to decide if everything is working as it should, if everything has implanted where it should and if a baby will happen.
We have 4 cycles of Femara. If it doesn't happen then, we have no choice but IVF. I'm hoping Femara wins. But I know quite a few women who have personally not had any choice but IVF. I know a few that have required multiple rounds. If that's what it takes for me to expand my family then it's what I will do.
I am sharing our story, because I know when we started how hard it was to try to explain. It's something we are going through as a family. It's something a lot of other woman are going through as well. I am providing a link below. It has a wealth of information on it. But the specific article it links you to is something I found very important. Even if someone isn't sharing their story with you, this might be a good thing to keep in mind.
http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/25-things-to-say-and-not-to-say.html
If anything, I hope this let's others know they are not alone. They don't have to be in silence. Thank you all for reading. We will return with a normal Grayson update next week! I have lots of school news to share.
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