Beach Day

Hi Everyone!!

Sorry for the delay, I really wanted to get into this on Wednesday, but unfortunately work has been crazy and things around here are just as busy.  Wally had 2 follow up interviews this week with the third being postponed for the future.  He has already scheduled round 3 for Monday at 1!! Fingers crossed boys and girls this could be the big one!

I have obviously been working, trying to keep up with things.  We had hoped to have some good news in regards to baby news, but apparently it appears March was not our month.  We are back to square one.  A little heartbroken after this one, especially as it seemed to really be working.  It's a little harder with the fact that we are now officially out 2015 baby range.  We are moving into 2016 due dates from here on out.  It's a tough pill to swallow that our little man will be a mere breath from his 4th birthday before we might provide him a sibling.  But thank you all for your thoughts.

Grayson as always, is a rock star.  He is doing awesome in school.  We are starting to hear 3 & 4 word phrases now.  Words are getting clearer and we're all starting to understand him a lot better which is helping with every one's frustration.  It's also bringing out his wonderful three year old personality which is quickly diving head first into those terrible 3's we've heard so much about.  Demands are now more frequent, tantrums more consistent and often we are just trying to find a compromise that doesn't make us feel terrible but isn't letting him get away with murder.

We have revamped our potty training.  We are hard core into it now (cause you know we weren't before lol).  Data is still being taken, he's up to 50 minutes again with a timer.  We have started using the ipad as a reinforcer which is not only something he really wants but it's severely limiting his time with it.  So far it seems to be working, the ipad doesn't travel with us, so he's not earning it outside of the house.  However, after a very busy day of crazy errands he managed to stay completely dry, no accidents and then take a 2+ hour nap in undies (a first) without any issues either.

We had a meeting with a new daycare person, unfortunately (for us) the woman we had met with back in December has very quickly filled all of her spots in the time it has taken for Wally to finally get a company to figure out how to function in Boston when it snows.  While we were worried about starting over, thankfully our search has been very short and the new woman is wonderful.  She has a little boy of her own Logan, who is 8 months.  Grayson and him became very fast friends during our meeting on Friday.  Which while wonderful to see just makes me want to bring another baby into the house all that much sooner.

Friday at school Grayson had beach day.  The kids all put bathing suits and other summer attire on over their normal clothes, they brought in beach towels and spread them out for snack and circle time. (Thanks Tracy, Steve and Annabelle for the bathing suit!) There are some wonderful photos I am hoping to get from the teacher soon but for now here is our little man getting ready to head out.  Wally is completely in love with this shirt given to Grayson for Christmas (Thanks Amy & Luke).

Thank you all for being so patient and supportive.  I'm sure there will be lots more to update you all on soon. 

Weekend Update

We've had a kind of crazy weekend so far, so I apologize this is going to be a short post.  I have just a few things I want to talk about. Updates for Grayson will continue on Wednesdays and I will do more "adult" topics on Saturdays.

Yesterday Wally and I left Grayson with Grampy and Uma for the night and drove to my home in NY to watch one of my closest friends get married.  The wedding was truly wonderful! I can't describe how happy I am for Steve and Jeremy, seeing them walk down the aisle together hand in hand brought tears to my eyes.  I love weddings, knowing that the people in my life have found that special someone who brings them joy and love like Wally does for me every day just makes me emotional.


Grayson successfully had no accidents at Uma and Grampys last night!!!!  This is a huge jump from his last sleep over where they completed 4 loads of baby underware laundry.  He of course was fine while we were away (better then me as always) and was more excited to continue watching Frozen when we arrived to pick him up then to actually greet us.

In an unrelated topic, I am apart of a wonderful Relay for Life team.  The team was created by my friend Nicole who has been doing this since I think she was Grayson's age (or at least very close).  We haven't been able to take part the last few years but I'm really excited to be rejoining and hopefully raising money for a good cause.  That being said I would like to share with you all some links and fundraisers.  If you are interested in making a donation or ordering something feel free to reach out and we can make that happen!!!

First is my Thirty one party which just opened yesterday! http://www.mythirtyone.com/568301/shop/Party/EventDetail/8061057

I love love love this company!! Seriously, if I didn't already have WAY too much going on I would sell this stuff.  I love their products, from purses to organizational products and now JEWERLY! They are a great company, they make wonderful things and I really hope you take a look. Items can be sent directly to you, I don't even need to know!  

This next one is our Relay shirts, they come in t-shirts, long sleeve t-shirts and a recent addition of hoodies! I can't wait to get one myself.  These you will need to contact me directly for, we are doing rolling orders on them and I believe will be taking orders right through the Relay event itself! Feel free to leave a message here, or you can email me directly at klong618@gmail.com.

Thanks so much everyone for all your support.  If you could all keep Wally in your thoughts this coming week, he has 3 second interviews coming up.  We are very hopeful that things are finally starting to turn around for us.

See you all on Wednesday!

Weekly School Update

It's been a few weeks since Grayson started preschool, and I've been getting requests for updates.  A quick side note, you may notice some changes going on with the blog over the next few days.  We are trying to streamline the design, possibly get some sponser ads to go along with it and overall make it a bigger part of our lives and hopefully yours.  I hope you will all click on the follow button, so you can receive direct emails about when the blog updates.  We would also love to start hearing from you all so please comment here directly! Tell us what you want to know, give some love, or talk back to us.  I would love to know what you guys want to talk about.  So please SHARE!

Grayson in a word is FANTASTIC!  He of course, brought home his first cold on the first week, and we have all been passing that around the house.  He comes home every day exhausted so I am taking that as a very good sign.  We have gotten some amazing artwork to hang on our fridge, including him practicing writing his name.  If you receive a card or something in the mail with a pencil outline and some scribbles on top its because we are continuing the practice at home.  Currently, he hasn't chosen which hand he's writing with though the teacher thinks he might be leaning to the left (fingers crossed!).

ABA has returned!!! This is a huge deal for everyone.  I love my job but one of the things I have said from the beginning of returning to the field is that I do not want to do ABA with my own kid.  He is a wonderful bright little boy, and I will do anything he needs me to, I will carry over any of their practices I need to.  I however, will not cross the line from mom to ABA.

Grayson has been waiting for their return with baited breath.  Ms. Amanda returned last Wednesday and he promptly ran over to his chair, pulled out a schedule and was ready to go!  The programs are all changing due to his new preschool abilities/needs and he is already fighting the power.  Shockingly (ok he's my kid so not so shocking) he is incredibly stubborn.  So while we have been accepting him saying "help" and then providing it, we are now requiring full sentences (ex: I need help).  Needless to say, he is holding his ground and help is still all they are getting.  They will wear him down, I know they will.

Potty training had a bit of a hiccup this past weekend.  We have continued following the ABA method, which was working like a champ.  Every 50 mins a timer goes off, we take him to the potty, he consistantly pees and we reset the timer.  Unfortunately, we attended a family birthday party on Sunday and after 3 bm accidents, we ended up back in a diaper.  A diaper which I might add stayed dry...THE ENTIRE PARTY.  We continued sitting him on the potty, he continued going on the potty but by that time the clean undies were gone and we were just trying to make it through till we got home.

Today as Wally was explaining our pooping situation to Amanda's BCBA wouldn't you know Grayson not only independently asked for the potty but he then pooped! Apparently when we start ratting him out is when he plays along.  He has only had 1 accident at school and that was his first week (::knocking on everything wooden I can find::). 

His words are increasing, they are becoming clearer and he's putting more of them together.  He pays attention to what we are doing, instead of just playing in the corner with his toys.  He actually interrupted us hugging so he could get in on the hugs! The changes are amazing, I am so excited for this to continue and to see what happens over the next few months, considering how much has changed during the last few weeks.

One final story of my fantastic little man.  Him and I went out shopping on Saturday to try and find me some new shoes for a wedding this weekend. We get to the store and we instantly travel to the bathroom, on the way there he is waving and saying "Hi" to every person in his path (thankfully at 9:30 on a Saturday morning, there aren't too many people).  We come out of the bathroom and there is a little girl, no more then 6 on her way in.  He looks her in the eye and say "Hi" and holds out his hand for a high five.  He has always been more willing to greet adults then he has been with other kids.  This moment just really showed me how much he is growing and how well he really is doing.  We are so proud and can't wait to see what other adventures he gets into.

Here's our little man, ready to go to school on St. Patrick's day. 

Questions Answered...(Post 2)

Well as promised here we go.  This post is simply made to help share our story and bring some awareness.

Perhaps, I should begin this by saying, at the age of 16 I was "diagnosed" polycystic ovary syndrome.  I was then placed on birth control for the purpose of helping to regulate my cycles.  At this time, no tests were run, the diagnosis was simply based on my own information I provided. I was on birth control until 3 months prior to our wedding.  We had a lengthy discussion with my doctor about the risks, the likelihood of us getting pregnant etc.  She also was going based on my previous diagnosis from my original doctor.  Based on this information, she looked at us and said

"It will take you no less then 6 months to get pregnant, you should expect it to possibly take more then a year."

Needless to say, Grayson was a surprise baby in every sense of the word.   We were told a year. It took us less then 3 months. 


Fast forward to November 2013.  Yes, the same November where the questions started flying.  Wally and I decided prior to our Thanksgiving visit, that we would start trying.  I once again came off of birth control, we knew it still might take us a few months, but after Grayson, we assumed 3-6 months. Suddenly, it's April 2014.  We are sitting in an office, with a kind friendly doctor who is giving us all the information we need for our newly diagnosed son.  Something I'm pretty sure you are all familiar with at this point.  We still weren't pregnant, and frankly, we stopped trying. 

(Disclaimer: I will be as informative as I can be without over sharing, however some details may make some people, males especially uncomfortable.  I understand if you wish to stop reading here.)

At this point in April, we were at 6 months.  I had only had 3 cycles at most.  While my cycles were lasting 60 plus days at some points, shockingly this was the shortest they had ever been.  During a visit to my doctor, we again had a lengthy discussion.  She mentioned us doing some blood work to see what information we could confirm from it.  She also suggested that perhaps we attempt going back on birth control for another few months in the hopes that it would provide my body the jump start it needed. 

We were fresh off a diagnosis of Autism for our son, I had a job interview at my now current job that while it went fantastic, I ended up crying through half of it sharing the tale of his diagnosis.  I knew then it wasn't the time for us.  So we took a few months off.  I received a call a few days later from my doctor.  She stated that while my blood work all came back clear, there was a problem.  Turns out, none of my blood work confirmed the PCOS (polycystic ovary) that I had been diagnosed with all those years ago.  All of my blood work in fact simply confirmed that I was a completely healthy, totally normal functioning 30 year old. We should be able to get pregnant without a problem once we were off the birth control.

I stayed on the birth control for 2 months.  We made a decision for me to come back off of it again in July.  I can't possibly tell you how many times I have taken an at home pregnancy test, because I still had an irregular cycle (40+ days).  At one point, I got to experience the joys of what I now know is called a false positive.  YES these do happen.  You take a test, it gives you 2 lines, you dance around your living room.  You get a blood test, you have an evil nurse on the phone tell you SORRY you're not pregnant crazy girl, try again.  You take another test at home and you get one line.

We continued this cycle through October of 2014.  One of the things they don't tell you is, no one will help you before you hit the 1 year mark.  Especially if you have already conceived one child of your own naturally.  You are forced to find your own way.  I was determined to not spend my mornings taking ovulation tests, acting like crazy women do in all the movies, demanding my husband get home because my temps are "perfect for baby making."  (I promise you will see the irony in this later).  The 3rd week of October, something wasn't right.  I ran upstairs from our basement took a look at Wally and instantly ran to the bathroom to throw up.  This happened a few times randomly.  I was actually following a solid (though longer) pattern and come to find out was a week late.  I took a test, negative. Yet, everything I knew about myself told me I was pregnant.

I should mention, I didn't test positive with Grayson until I was 7 weeks along.  I also am one of those lucky girls that just doesn't produce HCG (the hormone pregnancy tests look for) for at home test to pick it up right away.  I planned on waiting another week, testing again and seeing how it went.  I made it 4 more days.  I then experienced the worst cramping pains I had ever gone through (I am not a cramping kind of person).  I contacted the dr, she confirmed I had a miscarriage.  I was at most 6 weeks and up until now I believe 2 people are even aware of it.   While I was devastated at first, it gave me the push I and the doctor needed.  She referred me that day to a fertility specialist.

Let me just say, we have a wonderful woman who is our fertility doctor.  She has been through it all with us.  We have had a battery of tests run (yes both Wally and I).  There has been blood work, ultrasounds, a very long scary named x-ray procedure (which was actually really cool) as well as a few others.  This process took over 3 months.  Finally on January of this year, we sat down and we go over all of my results.  She looks me dead in the eyes and says

"You have what we call unexplained secondary infertility"

Yup, you read that right.  Unexplained.  It means that they have no more of a clue then we do of why we are currently able to have another baby.  Wally's tests are good, my tests are good and yet....No baby.  She started listing off these options that we have, things like IUI, IVF and other handy little acronyms are suddenly thrown at me and none of them are involving my husband and I, just being my husband and I.  I let her finish her whole explanation and say

"Can you just give us a pill to help?" 

I know, that sounds ridiculous.  But honestly, everything I had read never mentioned me jumping into a step that didn't involve us trying a fertility medication first. I wanted us to have more time to try.  I wanted us to have another chance without 4 doctors, a nurse, 3 receptionists and 13 lab guys all involved.   She understood (again she's wonderful).  She placed me on Femara (Letrozole) told me to take it days 2-6 and to partner it up with ovulation tests(see I told you).  We started our first Femara treatment the next day (it just happened that my visit with her synced up perfectly with my cycle).  But I didn't just take Femara, I added a Basel thermometer, I started tracking every symptom.  I took ovulation tests every morning from day 9 through day 18.  I wake up every morning (EVERY) at 5:30 and without even opening my eyes stick a thermometer in my mouth.  I have gotten so good at this, that the beeping of the thermometer being done is what wakes me back up to put it down.

We did everything right. We timed everything perfectly. We are still not pregnant. 

But, I had a 30 day cycle for the first day of my life.  I see that as a huge achievement. 

We are on our 2nd round of femara.  I'm about to start the process of what is known in the TTC (trying to conceive) world as the two week wait.  It's basically a mind numbing process in which you can not find out your pregnant for 2 weeks, because it takes your body that long to decide if everything is working as it should, if everything has implanted where it should and if a baby will happen. 

We have 4 cycles of Femara.  If it doesn't happen then, we have no choice but IVF.  I'm hoping Femara wins.  But I know quite a few women who have personally not had any choice but IVF.  I know a few that have required multiple rounds.  If that's what it takes for me to expand my family then it's what I will do. 

I am sharing our story, because I know when we started how hard it was to try to explain.  It's something we are going through as a family.  It's something a lot of other woman are going through as well.  I am providing a link below.  It has a wealth of information on it.   But the specific article it links you to is something I found very important.  Even if someone isn't sharing their story with you, this might be a good thing to keep in mind. 

http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/25-things-to-say-and-not-to-say.html

If anything, I hope this let's others know they are not alone.  They don't have to be in silence.  Thank you all for reading.  We will return with a normal Grayson update next week! I have lots of school news to share.
 

Questions Asked (Part 1)

As I had mentioned in my last post the next few posts are going to be more parent related then Grayson related.  This next topic in particular will highlight a topic not often talked about, which I felt needed a little attention.

As a woman, all too often, it is decided that people in our lives are free to ask any question they deem within their business.  While more often then not these questions are proposed by other women, most recently I have realized how a simple question can bring someone a great deal of heart ache. 

I have this memory, of my dad's mom, before she really had gotten to sick from the alzheimer's that ended up taking her away from us.  We were all in my Aunt's kitchen, all 4 of the cousins were home at the same time (a truly amazing event).  My cousin Becky and I were standing at the Island talking with Grummy when out of the blue she turns to me.  Looks me dead in the eye and says
"So, when are you finally getting married?" 

This memory still makes me smile, firstly because I can still see Becky's face over Grummy's shoulder laughing hysterically that the youngest one of the group was getting the toughest questioning. Secondly, because as much as it seemed like such a  trick question, my grandmother was as serious as can be.  I believe I was about 25 at the time.  Wally and I had just started dating so marriage wasn't even close to in the picture.  I stumbled through some response, still continuously pointing at my cousin as a "Hey, why aren't you asking her, she's older!"  But Grummy just smiled and we moved on to a different topic. 


Obviously, Wally and I ended up married, something I still think my grandmother was aware of and that she was just making sure I knew it would happen.  The day of our wedding, as we walked around our reception hall greeting everyone, and thanking them for coming.  I was asked no less then 3 times when we would start having kids.  Now, we got married at 28, while older then our parents generation, still quite young for ours.   People are getting married in their 30s all the time.  No rush right? 

Of course, upon our return from our 12 day Mediterranean Cruise approximately 2 weeks later, we discovered we had brought home an extra souvenir (a stowaway if you would).  Our surprise baby would be due March 14th (of course surprising us again by arriving 11 days early).  Upon official announcement to all of the family that we were expecting we were promptly asked "Were you pregnant during the wedding?  Was this planned? etc etc etc" 

The answer to both is NO, but thanks for being so curious.

Fast forward to November 2013. Grayson and I have just traveled on plane from MA to Washington D.C (technically right out side it in VA).  I have worked all day at the bakery, helping crazy people get their holiday pies etc.  For those who have never flown on the day before Thanksgiving, DON'T.  GO EARLY! Travel is a mess, and despite Grayson being one of the greatest travelers around, at 9:30 pm even he gets fussy.  We finally arrive at Wally's Aunt and Uncles house.  The bags are dropped, Grayson is inspecting the new surroundings and one of the first questions I am asked is

"Are you guys going to have anymore?" 

After this flight with an anxious, cranky toddler every part of me says NO.  But I know that's not true.  I also know from stories my mom has told me, that people don't necessarily understand the idea of a one child family.  Or at least they don't understand making the choice of having only one child.

"Yes we're hoping eventually."
"Well you know he's almost 2, do you want them close in age?"

At this point, some wonderful person in Wally's family has handed me a beer.  I'm not sure who it is I just know I desperately want to hug them.  I also don't know who decided that 2.5 years apart is the best age difference.  Who decided that 1 year isn't enough and 3-4 might be too many?  Was there some type of math class that I missed in College that would explain this concept to me? 

"Yes we would love to have them close in age but at this point we're just trying to figure things out, hopefully plan a little better for the next one."  (Remember the one that we were asked if he was planned in the first place.)

Thankfully, around this point there is a comment made by one of the men in the room (I believe the same one that brought me the beer).  Some thing to the point of "Do you want them to let you know once they start trying? Should they call you when they think conception has actually occurred?  Laughs are had by all and we move on.

 The question of us having a second child is something that multiple people have asked, they have asked not knowing our situation.  Some have never asked and I have just told them anyways.  Others I haven't been sure how to approach it.  There are women every where who are being asked questions right now that they aren't sure how to answer.  These aren't always questions they should have to answer.  Just because you can ask it doesn't always mean you should.  To those who have waited till this moment, thank you.  Thank you for letting us answer it without asking.  Of course.  Your going to have to wait till next week to finally get the answer.

He's always handled everything better then me.

So here we are, on the evening of my little man's birthday.  Wally is putting him to bed after our wonderful birthday song singing just before they headed up stairs.  His party was a smashing success, despite my multiple doubts and questioning of my own abilities. 

His elmo mini cupcake cake (comprised of 50+ mini cupcakes) was both beautiful, delicious and family friendly.  Grayson enjoyed the party, specifically playing on the bed with his cousins, friends and of course Grampy!  His least favorite moments were when I attempted to get him to open up the presents and when we had him blow out a candle on a single cupcake while Elmo continued to sit on the table. 

We received the IEP in the mail on Thursday, but thanks to party prep we didn't get around to opening it until Sunday at almost 10pm.  In fairness, the release of House of Cards season 3 on Netflix also delayed the process. We were ready to sign, accept and provide it to the school, until we started reading and realized there was no mention of the ABA hours that were discussed during the meeting itself.  This of course, sends us into panic mode as we were less then 48 hours from his start of preschool and the IEP was less then perfect. 

Thankfully, a quick call on Monday to the Special Education Director calmed our nerves and solved the problem.   While I knew that we had agreed to arrange for BEACON to continue to provide services to Grayson during the extended evaluation, we had always said we wanted the school to take over in providing those hours.  The school in turn is using the extended evaluation, in order to determine how these hours will be best spent for Grayson.  While I might believe that 3 hours in discreet trials is how Grayson learns best, in reality, none of us have actually seen him in a learning environment that is designed to cater to his many delays.  The extended evaluation is made to test out just that. 

The reason ABA wasn't included on the actual IEP itself is because they don't want to write that they will be providing it in one manner, only to find out he needs an entirely different type of learning.  She kindly offered us two options, 1: we sign that we accept the IEP as written with the understanding that we will have an amendment to it later after the extended eval, or 2: we accept the preschool hours and simply reject the remainder of the IEP as the ABA has not been included and this will allow for everyone to return to the table and for the ABA to be added.   We went with choice 2.  I do not believe that the school district wouldn't provide us the services that were discussed and promised but at the same time, a loop hole is a loop hole and why give one when you don't have to.

With all that completed, our little man, packed his backpack (ok we did) put his big boy undies on (he will kill me later for this) and headed to school. 

 Here he is so proud and ready to go.

 

Not too excited about his snow pants, boots, coat, mittens and hat. 

 Finding his hook for his backpack. He has the one with the snail on it.

Upon pick up, he could barely keep his eyes open and was promptly asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

His report from his teacher said he had a wonderful day, though during one part he did just simply place his head down from sheer exhaustion.  He received a birthday crown and book from the teacher.  He also managed to stay completely dry through all of school!!  

I however, shed more tears then he even thought of.  At one point, I gave them my child and in return they gave me a stack of paperwork.  The trade was certainly not equal.  But I know this is what's best for him and am excited to see what the next few months bring. 

Our follow up meeting for the IEP will be scheduled no later then May 5th.  Though we would like to have it a little sooner then that.  I will have a few off topic blog posts coming up.  They will deal with some more parent issue type situations then anything.  But as always I hope you share and enjoy.  

Happy Birthday Grayson!