I'm not entirely sure when it happened. I'm not sure when the Internet became our greatest weapon. I don't know if it's mothers or women as a whole that have done this to ourselves or if it's just a weakness of mankind. What I do know is that we have one of the greatest jobs in the world and if we don't start supporting one another we will be tearing each other down before it begins.
I am a working mother. There I said it. Not like you didn't all know, but just in case. I tried the stay at home mom thing. I can't do it. I put on 30 lbs of the lost baby weight that breastfeeding took away, I got bored cleaning my house and staring at a sleeping baby. I wanted to learn, to create, to GO BACK TO WORK! That being said I have lots of friends who are stay at home mom's. Some of them do daycare (our wonderful daycare was created because she's a stay at home mom). Some of them just absorb themselves into their children. I love them for their ability to do it. I wish I could.
Now I'm about to say something that will truly blow your mind. We are all good mothers!
OK take a step back from that.
As a working mom it is all too often that you are made to feel like you are missing out, you don't love your child enough and you can't handle "raising" them so you give them to someone else. I love my daycare lady but I'm pretty sure she isn't the one that has been sitting up reading multiple reports about my child, learning the ins and outs of IEP's and what my son deserves. I'm sure if she should ever need to though she will. That being said, all to often stay at home mom's are asked what they do all day. How do they contribute to the house? When will they return to work just so the rest of us stop feeling bad? Have you looked at the cost of daycare for just 1 child? Have you ever really looked at it? Daycare is seriously stupid expensive! Now Grayson has never been in anything but in home daycares. The price tends to be cheaper, he tends to get more attention despite his calm, relaxed personality and he's never lost in the sea of other louder children.
But this is not a rant on daycares. This is a rant on us, as mother's. We are all GOOD MOTHERS!
I was recently on a potty training post for Baby Center. It was one of their infamous lists of things you could do to make potty training easier. I didn't agree with at least 2 of them, but that's only because they don't apply to my child. As I'm scrolling through the comments I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Mom's from all over the country, fighting about the fact that some 4 years olds still aren't potty trained. Talking down to mom's who are struggling along with their child through potty training. Schooling working mom's on not being enough of a mom to be able to make it happen faster.
I think it's great if you are able to get your child to potty train by the age of 2. For the record though, this isn't a race. You will not get an award for your child being able to pee on a potty before mine. I mean I'll probably give you a good old fashioned pat on the back because my child wasn't ready and diapers are seriously expensive. But no college is gonna look at our children and say "Let's go with little Johnny, his mother potty trained him early!" As you all know Grayson is still potty training. We are getting close, he's starting to go #2 more frequently on the potty. We are spending less time doing dirty laundry from daycare. It's going well.
Until you walk in another mom's shoes, don't take the joy out of the hurdles she's overcome! We are ALL GOOD MOTHERS!
My last and final rant is about this latest obsession with C-sections. The whole if you had a C-section you just aren't mom enough. Ok ....seriously??? Did you have a baby? Did you adopt a baby and give it a loving home? Are you taking the best possible care of that baby and helping it grow, teaching it all you can about being a loving, gentle human being? Congratulations! YOU ARE A MOM! Whew. I'm glad we cleared that up. I would hate for someone to think that because I go an epidural at 2 inches, due to the fact that I was vomiting every contraction during my 12 hour labor would make me less of a mom. I would hate that someone would think my friend with back problems who had to go through 2 c-sections for her beautiful son and daughter without even being given the option to push wasn't a mom. I would hate for that woman down the hall, screaming in pain the morning before my son was born who really wanted a natural birth wasn't a mom.
We ARE ALL GOOD MOTHERS!!
This Mother's Day, after you've called your mom and hugged your kids, please just try something. Instead of looking on the Internet and seeing a post by another mom and thinking, wow she really is doing it wrong, or man I'm so glad I don't live her life. Take two seconds and just let that mom know you are there. You are supporting her in this crazy adventure called motherhood. You think she's doing it right. Let's try and make Mother's day about supporting each other and stop tearing each other down. Let's be be honest, we're aren't going to change the world, but in reality we are shaping it. With that I wish you all a wonderful, blessed Mother's day, and please just remember...
WE ARE ALL GOOD MOTHERS!
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