Don't look at me like that....

Every Monday Grayson & I go to his Early Intervention (EI) play group.  The group is made for parents and kids to attend, it helps the students get used to the routine, play with peers etc.  His ABA has recently started joining us for group so she can help him focus better on tasks, more social interaction and eventually so we can move him to a drop off group without me. 

            We have delayed on the drop off group for some time simply because of my own fears that he would get lost.  His lack of language can often cause him to stand at the back of a group with no way to express his wants, needs or complaints and I wasn’t ready to just ship him off to a group of kids who might take advantage without some kind of assistance.   Of course now that we have a ABA for him, this is no longer a concern.

            For the past 3 weeks, I have been stepping back, letting her take the lead while I sit in thie very comfy chair in the corner and pretend I’m not there.  All in all this has been an incredbily productive adventure.  Well almost, I have started noticing that the more new students we get in the room, the more new parents that come with them.  Along with these parents comes a look (2 looks actually).

 The first one I can totally handle.  It’s the look of pity, sympathy, or sadness that people tend to give someone in our position.  For the record I HATE IT, but I can handle it.   Please don’t pity me because my child learns differently from yours, or because you think our life is SOOOOOO hard.   At the end of the day,  sure it probably is but your look doesn’t make it any easier so just stop.  Feel free to offer to setup a play date with my child to help him with his social skills, hang on to his pecs book when I am carrying around this massive binder of data, a diaper bag and him because he just HAD to be carried too.  But don’t feel bad for us. 

The second one is something new.  I got a similar look while we were out shopping yesterday.  We had run just one too many errands and while at Barnes and Noble, Grayson was totally overwhelmed.   He really wanted to read the books he’d never seen before, and play with the train table in the back but his sensory needs got the best of him and in return we gave him his binkie.  Maybe it wouldn’t of been as bad if we could convert him to a binkie that is more “age appropriate” but I’m sorry my son likes the ones he’s had since birth.  I can’t even get him to upgrade to the 3-6 month binkies of the same kind, let alone any of these adorable ones that have names and colors and pictures on them. 

A fellow mother was in the same section with her similar aged daughter.  While Grayson snuggled into me and we read the newest Llama Llama adventure (a personal favorite of mine) the little girl wandered over, sat down and listened.  The mother stayed to the side and just looked at us.  There it was.  The look of disapporval, the same look I receive from these new moms at parent group who seem to think I am the WORST mother ever sitting in a corner, ignoring my son when he comes over and begs to be picked up and I look away.

Let me clear some things up for you, I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING.  Go ahead, read it again.  Like most parents I wasn’t given a manual at birth.  However, I was trained in proper teaching techniques with children my sons age on the same exact spectrum.  Yes, I get it, my son is 2 ½ and is walking around with a bright green binkie that matches your 6 month olds.  It works for him, it actually is helping him develop proper oral motor muscles that he needs to be able to tell me why he’s sobbing in the middle of the store.  I know you are brand new to the group, and you think my wonderful ABA who is 7 years younger then me is just my nanny and I clearly can’t be bothered to take one minute away from my phone to even glance at my child.  The fact is, I’m not supposed to, because the minute he and I make eye contact everything goes down hill.  He’s out of the chair, running to my lap saying “up, up, up, up,up” in rapid succession and is getting angrier and angrier by the minute that I’m not looking at him. 

I know that not all kids screaming in the middle of the restaurant are on the spectrum.   I know that some parents need to provide better ground rules, and I know that to some people I look like the biggest jerk on the planet because when he looks at me and says “I want that,”  I give it to him, and when he throws it I leave it on the nearest shelf for someone else to pick up.   You are not in my shoes, you don’t know that what I’m doing is what I truly believe is right for my son.  I will make a deal with you, you don’t judge how I’m teaching my child to learn right from wrong and I won’t judge you for the fact that while your giving me dirty looks, and texting everyone you know about how awful I am, your child is 3 aisles away climbing into someone elses cart. 

            We are all just doing what we can, but please keep your looks to yourself.

Toddler Adventures

With so much of a focus on all the services and requirements Grayson has now, we often forget he's only two.  This week we made the big switch to the toddler bed.  By switch I mean we took the front piece off of his current crib and bam..big boy bed!  We have actually had no issues getting him to sleep in it for naps and bedtime.  But in that regard we are very lucky, we've never allowed him to sleep in bed with us and we cried it out with him at 6 months. 

  Now, that being said, we have had our adventures.  My favorite one so far was this morning.  I have Thursdays off so I like to "sleep in" (read as..anything past 7).  So when Wally got up to shower for work at. 6:30 I rolled over and went right back to sleep.  Sometime around 6:45 though, something made me roll over.  I don't know that it was a noise per say just a motherly intuition.  Staring back at me was a very smiley, binkey mouthed little boy, who was clearly proud of his new freedom which granted him access to mom well before she was ready for him.  Even in my attempt to turn back over, he very calmly patted me on the shoulder to say "wake up" before beginning his usual request for "ilk" (milk).  

our next adventure in toddler land, was this past Tuesday evening.  Wally and gray had gone out grocery shopping for a few things for dinner, I was on my way home.  I had been expecting Wally to call once they left the market and yet I was almost home and still had no word.  As it turns out, Wally had brought gray into the house and left him inside with his dad (big Wally) who was cleaning up from another day of work In our basement.  Young Wally (my husband) then went out to get the remaining bags of groceries. As the story has sense been told to me by both of them, Young was gone for no more then 3 mins tops and Big was in the bathroom cleaning up. By the time they both met in the living room Grayson had successfully lived up to his nickname of Player 3, turned on the ps3, signed into the play station network chosen a video game, found the collectors edition of said game, ordered and downloaded it to the lovely tune of $89.99.

So now you have two grown men, staring unbelievably at the tv which is congratulating them on their recent purchase/download with a laughing two year old who keeps saying "I wanna nna nna watch" (this is how he tells us it's time for Elmo/pocoyo).  Thankfully we had a wonderful lady from Sony who was able to give us a one time free refund despite their ever so strict policy.  

With all the craziness that is going on in our world every day sometimes it's nice to remember that after all the therapists, assessments and challenges.  At the end of the day, he is still just a little boy who wants to watch pocoyo, have dinner, play in the tub with dad and read a bedtime story with his mommy.   I hope you all have a great week. 

How Time Flies!

My deepest apologies to all of my (hopefully) constant readers.  It has been a crazy few weeks and I have completely dropped the ball.   For starters, some big moves have been happening here in the Long household.   Wally is on week 3 of a brand new job that he really loves and is learning from every day.  It is a wonderful thing to see my husband get up and want to go to work in the morning.

            I have just given my notice to my current job at the bakery (remember that big announcement I was hoping to have) I have been hired as a Behavioral Technician with a new ABA focused school.   The new job starts on September 2^nd, along with the new school year and while it does mean I won’t get a chance to be home with ABA as much as I had hoped.  I will be back with a main focus in the field learning more about advocating, helping those on the spectrum and my son as well.

            My last day at the bakery will be July 19^th though, because I am taking the rest of the summer with my baby boy.   We will be spending 6 full weeks together (with some ABA company) and hopefully I can take a few days for myself here and there as well.   This is a very exciting adventure we will be going on together and hopefully I can get this house in order before the school year starts.

            Now on to Master Grayson.  About 4 weeks ago we had our OT  (occupational therapy) assessment.  The woman was wonderful, she pretty much had him pegged as a deep pressure input child from the beginning but we went through the whole process and lo and behold she was right.  She taught us some great techniques which I have found incredibly helpful to use when he seems anxious, overwhelmed or just unsure of what’s going on. 

            ABA has also started, we are currently on a schedule of 13 hours a week with a plan to increase to the full 25-30.  Thankfully the company we went with, I used to work for.  My former boss actually came to do the baseline asseessment for his goals, and she made everything very easy.  While our first week had some growing pains, including him not allowing me to leave the room.  I am very happy to report that today he spent the last hour of his morning session and all of his 2^nd session without me even being on the same floor as him. 

            I am so incredibly proud of all that he is accomplishing.  He seems to be mastering some of his goals faster then expected.   I heard the words “Fish, yes and match” today.  There are also rumors that he said mom….I refuse to say it has happened until I hear it myself, and those that know me know I will probably cry like a baby the first time I do. 

            So in honor of this Throwback Thursday thing that those crazy kids do on the internet now a days and the Fourth of July.  I will wish Happy Birthday to America with this photo of Gray on his first Fourth of July