Can you hear me now?

 

            Under recommendation of Kelly, a few months ago I scheduled a hearing test for Grayson.  While we all know he can hear us just fine, and ignore us just as well.  This test was more a way to see if we can determine what is causing his hearing sensitivity. 

            Wally (my wonderful husband/doting father of Grayson), has fantastic hearing and I believed was deemed perfect pitch at one time.  Though I maybe making that up in my own head by piecing together a variety of conversations with his mom.   Our thought was perhaps this is the cause of Grasyons sensitivity is that he is just hearing more then the average person.

            Well after 2 months of waiting today was Grayson’s hearing test.  2 minutes in he starts crying and sobbing.  I blame the weird motion animals in the boxes above the speakers.  He doesn’t play with toys like those, he actually hates toys like those.  So here we are, him on my lap against his will, a glass window to see the very friendly lady who was running the test and a large speaker on each side.  The door is closed and whille it’s bigger then the elevator we had in my old dorm at Salem State, it is not bigger then the room I slept in there. 

            Above these speakers are boxes, one with a motorized pig, and one with a motorized duck.  Everytime the beep happens the box above said speaker then lights up and makes a noise.  Grayson was ok during the first one, by ok I mean he didn’t start screaming.  But the second round he was done.  Suddenly I’m holding a cuddling screaming baby in my arms trying to keep him facing the window and contorting myself to do it.  We go for round 3 and that’s it I have a full fledged meltdown in my arms. 

            The wonderful Doctor (?) is trying so hard to keep going and so she comes around and says “Are the animals freaking him out?”  To which I reply “YUUUUUP”  figuring maybe there is an option for us to just use the beeps on the speakers she says “Well let’s try with me talking through the speakers instead.”  The problem with this idea is that the speakers have all this crackling garbled sound that make her sound like Darth Vader being played by Christian Bale’s Batman.  Even I am terrified of it.  

            So after one attempt at that and the continuing sobbing of Grayson in my arms she decides this isn’t working (DUH),  So we all come out of the room, Grayson is now searching for a binkie which I stupidly forgot to check his bag for an don’t have.  She tells us that we started at 40 decibles and he could hear those clearly.  She would of liked to go lower but unfortunately we weren’t able to get there.  Would I like to schedule a test for another time? 

            NO No I would not like to continue to subject my child to a means of torture on a monthly/quarterly schedule but golly thanks for offering.   At the end of the whole thing, Grayson had bounced back, though I promptly drove over to the nearest CVS and purchased a new package of binkies which were opened before we made it to the register.  He’s napping soundly in his crib while I question if I have traumatized him forever to motorized toys and figurines.  Have we cursed him to  always think that ducks and pigs are made to be trapped in light up boxes oinking and quacking for escape. 

            I’m sure at the en d of the day he won’t really remember this experience, though I am sure not to forget it.  The next hearing test won’t be scheduled anytime soon perhaps not until we have hit an actual requirement saying YOU MUST DO THIS, at which point I might still search for the opt out (maybe religious reasons will work?).           

            The ABA Process is a slow one, it never seemed this slow when I was the one with the new referrals.    We have submitted the letter (still no report from the dr) to the company and have signed off our names on all the paperwork saying , YES please come in an force our child to do discrete trials for 25 hours a day sometimes against his will.  The change from Sally to Kelly is official.   Sally is no more and never to be heard from again.  At least, not by me or my child. 

            I am embarking on a new adventure.  It will start next week though I may not be able to share the outcome for a while.  Our little family is in a completely different location then I thought it would be from a year ago.  I have made some personal choices and followed some dreams that haven’t worked out for us and now with all of this going on with Gray have forced me to reevaluate what truly matters and what we REALLY need.

            Wish us luck.  I hope to hear from you all soon!

P.S.  I have been made aware of some comment issues.  I am hoping they are fixed.  Please feel free to contact me through Facebook if it is easier but I would love to start discussions here as well.